“It’s the Fourth of July!” I thought, “I’m going to write a late article about ‘patriotic’ recipes.”

I started off fully intending to cover the best red, white, and blue recipes that didn’t make me want to throw up in my mouth on sight.  As I started pinning recipes on Pinterest, I discovered that nearly all of the recipes I gravitated toward were alcoholic beverages and that most of the rest were artificially colored, strawberry-and-blueberry-overloaded disasters that made me want to throw up in my mouth on sight.

And so, I present to you an incredibly unoriginal, yet meticulously curated round-up of red, white, and blue cocktails.

9. Let’s start with the obligatory red, white, and blue Jello shot!

Red, white, and blue Jello shot.
Even the white layer is alcoholic.

Why did I pick this particular patriotic jello shot? Check out what Hollicakes did with the white layer! Most alcoholics Americans will punk out and go full throttle with the Reddi Wip, but Hollicakes did something much cooler with heavy cream and vanilla vodka.

8. A red, white, and Hpnotiq blue martini. Not shaken or stirred.

Red, white, and blue martini.
How the @#$% are you supposed to shake this with ice?

Nothing says, “Happy birthday, America” like a bright blue, horribly misspelled liquor. The Red, White, and Hpnotiq blue martini comes from Bar None Drinks. They managed to make a July 4th-worthy drink consisting of primarily citrus-y flavors. The instructions suggest shaking with ice, but I supposed you’d have to do it in layers. ‘Murica.

7. Do you like Pina Coladas? So did our forefathers.

Red, white, and blue Pina Colada.
You need a strawberry/blueberry timeout.

Maggie Jones’s Pina Colada makes this list because you don’t need all of Independence Day to taste like strawberries and blueberries.  Given the choice, I’ll always go with a pineapple and coconut combination instead. For the record, two different Puerto Rican bartenders claim to be the originators of the pina colada.

6. Daiquiris and pina coladas go together like a horse and carriage.

Red, white, and blue daiquiris.
I certainly wasn’t expecting frozen watermelon and coconut sorbet.

The Food Network Kitchen calls this their “Fireworks Red, White and Blue Daiquiris.” The lack of an Oxford comma REALLY bothers me. However, the inclusion of frozen watermelon and coconut sorbet buys them a pass… this time.  I also like that fireworks have a 7th century China origin and that the daiquiri comes from Cuba.  The United States isn’t just a melting pot of people, it’s a melting pot of mixed drinks, too!

5. You knew there had to be a strawberry margarita topped with blueberries in this list.

Red, white, and blue margarita.
A Disney-fied version of a Mexican margarita for an American holiday.

This recipe comes courtesy of Ole & Shaina Olmanson on Disney’s Babble. Something tickles me about a Disney-authorized recipe for a Mexican drink for an American holiday. For me, this makes the list because tequila. Yes, because tequila.

4. At least someone decided not to neglect the poor, downtrodden raspberry in their champagne cocktail on July 4th.

Red, white, and blue champagne cocktail.
Champagne in a mason jar. A MASON JAR!

Red, White & Bubbly” comes from The Dinner Vine. This recipe gets included — despite their omission of an Oxford comma — because they put their champagne cocktail in a mason jar and went with raspberries instead of strawberries. (In case you’re wondering about my Oxford comma obsession, read this.)

3. Was your daddy a thief? He must’ve stolen all the pineapple stars…

Red, white, and blue sangria.
You may be my lucky pineapple star.

Sangria is shockingly hit or miss. I have high hopes for this particular red, white, and blue sangria recipe (via momstart.com, courtesy of Andrea Correale of Elegant Affairs) because it has triple sec and pineapple stars. Is that logical? I’m sure Spock would argue, “no.”  Mmm… Spanish, Portuguese, and Vulcan references in this one!

2. Damn, that’s a good looking drink.

Red, white, and blue sparkler.
Vanity Fair went to Brooklyn’s Park Luncheonette and had this.

Vanity Fair just published this badass looking drink yesterday. Boris Barton’s Red, White, and Blue Sparkler just looks awesome.  In fact, it looks classier, more sophisticated, and more thoughtful than anything else I’d typically publish here on Flavour of the Geek. And if you’re feeling wicked lazy, roll on into Brooklyn’s Park Luncheonette and have them make it for you.

1. Mint, lime, and rum is a magical combination.

Red, white, and blue mojito.
Behold! The Cuban mojito to celebrate the Fourth of July!

I have a soft spot for mojitos and margahitos (mojitos that swap in tequila for rum). This “Red, White + Blue Mojito” — ALSO OXFORD COMMA-LESS!!! — is Susannah’s (of Feast and West) adaptation of Fashionably Bombed’s “4th of July Mojito.”

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