Why am I writing about Japan’s most premeditated J-pop/Heavy Metal fusion monstrosity? Because they have a song titled “Gimme Chocolate!!” which makes Babymetal vaguely food-related.

And because the origins of the band remind me of Logan’s Run. Really.

Babymetal lead singer Suzuka Nakamoto (“Su-metal”) previously performed in more traditional J-pop idol girl groups Karen Girl’s and Sakura Gakuin.  But much like 30-year-olds in Logan’s Run who were forced into a scheduled execution by way of vaporization in order to control the population, Nakamoto was forced to leave Sakura Gakuin when she graduated from junior high, ostensibly because she was too old.

What’s that you say? Menudo is a better analogy than Logan’s Run? Shut your chocolate pie hole!

Anyway, Nakamoto’s management company liked her so much that rather than vaporize her, they chose to re-utilize her in a new group they were forming.  They even brought along Sakura Gakuin bandmates Yui Mizumo (“Yumetal”) and Moa Kikuchi (“Moametal”). What do you get when you take three teen-idols with no concept of Heavy Metal and put them in a Heavy Metal band?

Behold!

In case you’re wondering, here are the “Gimme Chocolate!!” lyrics translated into English:

Atatata taata taatatata zukkyun.
Watatata taata taatatata dokkyun.
Zukyun. Dokyun. Zukyun. Dokyun.
I won’t. Won’t. Won’t. Won’t. Never. Never. Never.

Check-it-out chocolate. Can I have a bit of chocolate?
But my weight worries me a bit these days.
However, chocolate. Can I have a bit of chocolate?
But wait a while! Wait a while! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Atatata taata taatatata zukkyun.
Wadadada daada daadadada dokkyun.
Zukyun. Dokyun. Zukyun. Dokyun.
Yet. Yet. Yet. Yet. Never. Never. Never.

Check-it-out chocolate. I can have a bit of chocolate, can’t I?
But my weight worries me a bit these days.
However, chocolate. I can have a bit of chocolate, can’t I?
But wait a while! Wait a while! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Parappappappaa rappappappaa rappappappaa paapapapapaa.
Too, too late. Too, too late. Too, too. P! P! P! Come on!

Atatata taata taatatata zukkyun.
Wadadada daada daadadada dokkyun.
Zukyun. Dokyun. Zukyun. Dokyun.
I won’t. Won’t. Won’t. Won’t. Never. Never. Never.

I did it so hard. I did my best.
So, a bit (heart). I ask you just a little bit.
Quickly chocolate. Please give me chocolate quickly!
Pass me chocolate! Chocolate please!

Check-it-out chocolate. I can have a bit of chocolate, can’t I?
I think so, don’t you? It’s so good. I’ll be so happy and can work hard.
So, chocolate. I can have a bit of chocolate, can’t I?
I think so, don’t you? Just a little bit. I’ll eat just a little bit of chocolate.

Parappappappaa rappappappaa rappappappaa paapapapapaa.
Too, too late. Too, too late. Too, too. P! P! P! Come on!
Parappappappaa rappappappaa rappappappaa paapapapapaa.
Pappappaa pappappaa pappappaa paapapapapaa.

Or perhaps you’d like the phonetics of the Japanese lyrics?

Ata tata tata zukkyun!
Wa tata tatata dokkyun!
Zukyun! Dokyun!
Zukyun! Dokyun!
Yada! Yada! Yada! Yada!
NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!
C! I! O! Chokorēto
Chokorēto
Cho! Cho! Cho! ii ka na?
Demo ne chotto Weight
Chotto saikin shinpai nandesu
Dakedo chokorēto chokorēto
Cho! Cho! Cho! ii ka na?
Demo ne chotto Wait
Chottomatte
Cho! Cho! Cho!

Ata tata tata zukkyun!
Wa tata tatata dokkyun!
Zukyun! Dokyun!
Zukyun! Dokyun!
Mada! Mada! Mada! Mada!
NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!
C! I! O! Chokorēto
Chokorēto
Cho! Cho! Cho! ii yo ne?
Demo ne chotto Weight
Chotto saikin shinpai nandesu
Dakedo chokorēto chokorēto
Cho! Cho! Cho! ii yo ne?
Demo ne chotto Wait
Chottomatte
Cho! Cho! Cho!

Too too late! Too too late!
Too too P! P! P! Come on!

Ata tata tata zukkyun!
Wa tata tatata dokkyun!
Zukyun! Dokyun!
Zukyun! Dokyun!
Yada! Yada! Yada! Yada!
NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!
Yabai chō! Chō! Hādo
Chō! Ippai ganbattandesu
Dakara chotto (hāto)
Chotto dake onegai nandesu
Hayaku chokorēto chokorēto
Cho! Cho! Cho! Chōdai
Yokose chokorēto
Chokorēto puriizu! !
C! I! O! Chokorēto
Chokorēto
Cho! Cho! Cho! ii desho?
Da yo ne chō! Chō! GOOD
Chō! Happii de ganbacchaundesu
Dakara chokorēto chokorēto
Cho! Cho! Cho! ii desho?
Da yo ne chotto dake
Chotto dake tabe chaou! !

Too too late! Too too late!
Too too P! P! P! Come on!

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